Bells are ringing

Wedding bells, that is. Carla is getting married. And is pregnant. Wow. Carla wants to get married by September. Idalia and Pablo are engaged. As of last Thursday. Idalia is looking towards spring '11 for her nuptials. 

It's all soooo sudden. Maybe it's all sooo sudden to me, cause I'm not at that point in my life. Idalia said she somewhat expected it, and Carla had heard that Joey was talking of marriage to their mutual friends prior to her being pregnant.  

So all this talk of impending nuptials has sent me into my own fantasy land of IF I'll ever tie the knot. I waffle back and worth as whether or not I believe in the institution of marriage. Marriage was created in barbaric times, where in the heart of men was an imperialistic motivation. And what best way to acquire more land and things? Why to take the virgin daughter of your wealthiest neighbor, combine estates and expand. Women were bartering tools, as well as seals to continuing the bloodline. 

Marriage then evolved to become a holy sacrement to the God of your prescribed religion. Women were still regarded as property, and were subordinate to their spouses under the contract of the marriage. This tenet is still followed by the majority of the world's population.

Marriage is a ceremony to unite 2 people. I know a lot of married people who have lost themselves in their union... that just the title of being married changes their identity of how the outside world perceives them. 

I sound sooo CYNICAL, eh? I'm just playing that side of the coin NOW, as a single bachelorette-- it's mostly logic that makes me speak that way.  But I can't deny my natural instinct to be "WIFEY." Like every little girl raised in a modern, western society, the goal of getting married is engrained in us from the minute we are given a baby doll to play house with as a toddler. Then came Barbie and Ken. As a little girl,  you don't realize these childhood effects are planting in you subliminal messages of future matrimony and nesting. It is with this grooming that makes me swoon at the site of a wedding dress with a sweetheart neckline, pearl bodice and silk chiffon train. Admittedly, I do stop on the WE channel when "Platinum Weddings" is on to see how many Swarovski jewels this bride managed to jam onto the centerpiece topiaries.  And I have fantasized about the 6 tiered wedding cake, like whether I want french buttercream frosting or fondant... I can easily be pegged as a typical woman with fairy tale romances weaved in my psyche as truths. 

Now, here, today, I could really do without the spectacle... I'm easily repulsed by such pomp and circumstance. I just want what is at the core of a marriage: the love and the commitment. Marriage is to be IN agreement to be in love and committed to each other. 

My fantasy wedding has morphed into something more lush than a long white gown or a rich fluffy cake; it's an escape to a foreign land where I can experience something new with the select few who decide to follow me and my future husband there. A destination wedding. I'm not sure where that destination is just yet, I guess my mystery man and I will come to terms on that when we get to that point. 

In my mind's eye, I would get married at the base of a waterfall, standing in waist deep water; the mist of the waterfall spraying the entire party. Or, it would be on a cliff or seaside bluff, with the setting sun as the back drop, again, with only a few loved ones to witness it all. 

Bells are still clanging away in my head, but they are for my lovely friends, for whom I will be a pillar of strength and a solid resource in helping them plan the rest of their lives.