cleaning machine

Clean 3-3-3-3-3-3-3

55-65-70-75PR(x2)-75PR(x1)-75(Fail)-75PR(x1)

It was my intention to make it to the 6AM class, but around 3:50AM I was awakened by a hacking dry cough from extremely dry throat. No matter how much water, I drank I couldn't get the scratchy feeling out of my throat. The intense dry hack made me dry HEAVE, and choke. It was not pleasant. At this point I could not go back to sleep. I watched the time tick away on my clock... 4:15, 4:20, 4:25, 4:50... my alarm was set for 5:30AM and I knew the pressure of trying to get back to sleep was too much. So I text Suze that I wasn't going to make it to class due to lack of rest and that my intention was to attend 8AM. I reset my alarm, and dozed off quickly knowing I had 3 hours to rest. 

Working out in the new space was totally fun and EASY. No stepping on anyone's toes, you have so much room to move freely... And I believe that the energy in the morning is completely different than in the evening--- I like it better. It's more focused and on task. I try to be on task at night, but there are too many distractions, it's kind of annoying. 

Knowing the WOD the night before, I made it a goal to set a PR over my old one of 65#s. When I did 70#s it seemed easy. I moved up to 75#s. Besides getting tired, I knew it was completely mental to execute all the steps that I know how to do. I mean, it's only 5#s more, right... why was I hesitating getting under the bar? Why was I shrugging the weight too soon, well before the bar was at my thighs? Cause my head gets all jacked up when you attempt so many times you and FAIL. You start to doubt yourself. Heavy days are just as mental as the long ass 40 min met-con WODs. 

Either way, I am very pleased to beat my old PR by 10s. Yay!!!! 

I want 8AM to be my home. 

~Sweet Assassin says relax and have fun

Monday BBQ

~Sweet Assassin says relax and have fun

The month is drawing to a close

It's been an amazing, indulgent 35+ days. It all started with my trip to the East Coast... uh, rewind, it was the evening previous: Charles' going away party. And I've said yes to me all month. I've had some really good times with good people. I am so blessed.

Now it's time to cleanse the body; eat clean, cut back on the alcohol (not stop-just cut back!!!) and sleep at a decent time of the night with enough hours... Just reset my body.

Tonight I'm going to bottle rock with Dakota, then I have a last hooray dinner on Wednesday with some more lovers at Church and State. I will definitely not be holding back that night- last night in June- I will be partaking in everything that arrives to the table.

I've manage to put on 6 pounds of weight in a month. I'm a champ! It will all be off by mid next week. I'm going to be strict Paleo-zone and no alcohol. That shit will fall right off of me. I still have a crazy obsession about getting below 100 pounds. I have no idea why. I just want it. And when I want something, I go after it. I'm going to do it.

I have to be more diligent about tracking what I eat. I use to be sooo good at it.

To start the day:

3 eggs
1 bell pepper
1/2 avocado

I'll add more later tonight...

***Update***

1 cup of Cherries
3 oz Onion tart
1/2 Grilled Cheese
4 oz Lamb cheeks

I didn't eat enough today. I feel lethargic and "weak."

Sore City

My butt, my abs and my calves are all sore. It feel sooooo good.

A toughie is still tough

Five rounds for time of:

40 Double-unders

30 Box jumps, 24 inch box

20 Kettlebell swings, 1.5 pood

My time: 45:44

We did this WOD on March 29th, and I wrote about my initial experience here. This time around, I did the double unders (which is is technically the first time I did NOT modify it with half singles or partial DUs.), but the rest is about the same: 18" box and 3/4 pood KB. Doing the DUs added just over 12 mins to my time. Zeb says that I am more fit than in March, even if it didn't show on my time scale.

After the first round, I was already at the point of despair. I was doing my best to keep my head in it. Thank god Zeb was there to give me positive reinforcement. By round 2 of box jumps, I told Zeb to pull the pukie bucket near. I'll admit that I had to dig deep to finish this one. Round 3 was really tough. I felt as if in a desperate state... I didn't believe I could finish. My dizziness was all I could feel. Zeb told me to relax, control my breathing, relax my face... I had to do this every time I took a break. 

Round 5 felt shitty, too, but I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and that kept me going. I was soooo tired that I couldn't get the rope under my feet twice. I would stop and feel my head reeling. By some miracle I got through the 40 DUs, in small sets of 2-3-1-2-4 if I was lucky. The box jumps I broke up in 10s. I finally feel good getting into a rhythm. The last set of KB swings were "easy"-- you know what I mean-- I had just done all that work and the last 20 weren't going to be my fall.

***Can I add that I can't wait until I have double unders mastered so that I can do them all linked and connected vs. a DU then a single? Then I can knock out 40 in like a minute and not have to extend my grief on WODs like this one.***

My recovery time today was about 25 minutes. This one was a doozy. I got up to fetch my water and I felt really heady and dizzy, so I opted to chill out on the floor- my favorite place. As my body wound down, I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo GOOD. That euphoria, all the yummy chemicals pumping through my body and frontal lobe were IN EFFECT! I love that feeling. I was pushed really hard in this WOD and the result is that blissful state of calm. 

After my head got straight I went to visit Diso at the new box and things are coming along splendidly.  I'm starting to get really excited. 

Hump (me) Day

I did 1 armed Thruster at 20#s (which was fk'n heavy) and I used ab-mat weighted at 12#s.

I like my time. I had trouble with the last set of 30 sit ups. I was at muscle failure.

Bloodfart kicked my ass. LOL.




~Sweet Assassin says relax and have fun

Bells are ringing

Wedding bells, that is. Carla is getting married. And is pregnant. Wow. Carla wants to get married by September. Idalia and Pablo are engaged. As of last Thursday. Idalia is looking towards spring '11 for her nuptials. 

It's all soooo sudden. Maybe it's all sooo sudden to me, cause I'm not at that point in my life. Idalia said she somewhat expected it, and Carla had heard that Joey was talking of marriage to their mutual friends prior to her being pregnant.  

So all this talk of impending nuptials has sent me into my own fantasy land of IF I'll ever tie the knot. I waffle back and worth as whether or not I believe in the institution of marriage. Marriage was created in barbaric times, where in the heart of men was an imperialistic motivation. And what best way to acquire more land and things? Why to take the virgin daughter of your wealthiest neighbor, combine estates and expand. Women were bartering tools, as well as seals to continuing the bloodline. 

Marriage then evolved to become a holy sacrement to the God of your prescribed religion. Women were still regarded as property, and were subordinate to their spouses under the contract of the marriage. This tenet is still followed by the majority of the world's population.

Marriage is a ceremony to unite 2 people. I know a lot of married people who have lost themselves in their union... that just the title of being married changes their identity of how the outside world perceives them. 

I sound sooo CYNICAL, eh? I'm just playing that side of the coin NOW, as a single bachelorette-- it's mostly logic that makes me speak that way.  But I can't deny my natural instinct to be "WIFEY." Like every little girl raised in a modern, western society, the goal of getting married is engrained in us from the minute we are given a baby doll to play house with as a toddler. Then came Barbie and Ken. As a little girl,  you don't realize these childhood effects are planting in you subliminal messages of future matrimony and nesting. It is with this grooming that makes me swoon at the site of a wedding dress with a sweetheart neckline, pearl bodice and silk chiffon train. Admittedly, I do stop on the WE channel when "Platinum Weddings" is on to see how many Swarovski jewels this bride managed to jam onto the centerpiece topiaries.  And I have fantasized about the 6 tiered wedding cake, like whether I want french buttercream frosting or fondant... I can easily be pegged as a typical woman with fairy tale romances weaved in my psyche as truths. 

Now, here, today, I could really do without the spectacle... I'm easily repulsed by such pomp and circumstance. I just want what is at the core of a marriage: the love and the commitment. Marriage is to be IN agreement to be in love and committed to each other. 

My fantasy wedding has morphed into something more lush than a long white gown or a rich fluffy cake; it's an escape to a foreign land where I can experience something new with the select few who decide to follow me and my future husband there. A destination wedding. I'm not sure where that destination is just yet, I guess my mystery man and I will come to terms on that when we get to that point. 

In my mind's eye, I would get married at the base of a waterfall, standing in waist deep water; the mist of the waterfall spraying the entire party. Or, it would be on a cliff or seaside bluff, with the setting sun as the back drop, again, with only a few loved ones to witness it all. 

Bells are still clanging away in my head, but they are for my lovely friends, for whom I will be a pillar of strength and a solid resource in helping them plan the rest of their lives. 

Assessment

Five rounds for time of:

15 pound barbell Overhead walking lunges, 50 feet (45# rx'd)

21 Burpees

My time: 17:38

Round 3 of burpees I felt a jolt of electricity in my left shoulder. I couldn't continue with the burpees, so David had me finish with the WOD doing jumping squats. Jumping squats really suck. I did 4 and had to take a break. 

I love lunges. My abs are killing me today because of the weight overhead. 

My shoulder is definitely acting funny. It's not the joint or the muscle. Zeb thinks it's a nerve. I feel a dull ache right by the back side of my armpit. I still can't define what movements bring pain so it's like a moving target. I should be icing it... I have an appt at Yosan for next Tuesday. The left shoulder has caused me problems before, 2 times before. And all 3 times I wasn't even doing anything crazy that would cause an obvious injury. The first time I believe it was in a overhead squat with the dowl(no weight!!!!); the second was doing a ring support (simple!!!) and then doing a burpee.  How disappointing. 

Let the healing begin. 

Where I train, where I workout

I had to borrow this from Practice Crossfit's blog. To truly understand where I workout, I offer that you come and join me one day.

When your questioned about where you workout at, what do you say to explain CrossFit? Try some of these the next time someone asks.

-I train in a box. It has walls...sometimes. Sometimes we go outside. Sometimes we meet elsewhere. Its not the location I value, its the people.

-I train in an open space, because bars and my training partners fly everywhere. There is not equipment in the way, only my friends near me as we all struggle together, and are rewarded all the same.

-I train in a warehouse with no air conditioning and big garage doors. If you didn't know where it was, you would never find it. There is no sign outside. The signs of training are all inside, working, or helping one another.

-I train where advertising is sacrilege. I train where I am a walking advertisement.

-I train with people I truly enjoy, and would do anything for, not where I need to put ear phones in to block out all the annoying banter. When we go, we hear yells, trainers instructing, or loud ass music making us go even harder...not elevator bullshit. Real music.

-I train in a place where if I am negative, I will be addressed by at least one person about my stupid ass attitude, and if I am unlucky enough on that day, I may be asked to leave, and come back when Im better, because I am effecting the core by my stupid ass baggage that is meant to be burned at the door.

-I train where if I want to keep my shirt on I can....but there are no rules saying I have to. Where I train if someone disrobes to any level, wears short ass shorts, or is quasi naked after a WOD thats fine...no attention will be paid, because its all about the training, not about meat markets. If you want a pick up joint, look elsewhere.

-I train where Im valued and truly appreciate for showing up and putting forth true, real, demanding effort.

-I train where I am judged on my movements and attitude everyday. Not because my friends are assholes, because they truly want to make me better at life, and want success for me not injury. A piss poor performance means someone will care enough to help me make it better, and find out why it happened to begin with.

-I train in a place void of gossip. Rumors are unwelcome at all times and if I was stupid enough to ever spout anything negative, or even just not positive about one of my training partners, or any other training location for that matter, I would be crucified on the spot, by any and all in ear shot. Drama queens are eaten alive where I train.

-I train where everyone applauds when I do well, and I applaud for them.

-I train where justification is lucifer, and honesty is gospel. For if I lie, I only fail myself.

-I train where I am confronted everyday by food Nazis who wont allow me to eat shit and call it gold. Where I train we call bad, bad, quality, quality and everything in between sub-par. Where I train life happens, the difference is, here I have to confront my downfalls and improve not hide them away for tomorrow.

-I train to be better at life. The unknown and unknowable. To one day be able to help someone less fortunate than I. To be able to be moving on my own when I'm old and gray, not being moved.

-I train because I want the mirror to be an outward reflection of how I feel inside, which is pretty damn good, and I want it to stay that way.

-I train because laziness sickens me, and preventable disease is exactly that...preventable through effort, not medication.

-I train to be different than those before me. To go out swinging, not resting. To live valiantly, not cowardly.

-I train where the floor could double as a pool at times because people actually work hard. I don't care, that's how it should be.

-I train with football players, grandmas, kids, housewives, doctors.

 -I train with people of every walk of life, and if I cared about status...someone would make me leave.

-I train where education daily is paramount, and if I'm not a constant student, I will fail quickly.

-I train where we are all equal, because we truly are. The only thing that separates people is the attitude to believe this is true or not. The ones who believe they are better than others, are so much better....they aren't allowed to train with me.

-I train with people that make my day better.

-I train in a place where I want to be, not a place I feel I have to be.

-I train under expectations. Expectations to be better than yesterday. 

-I train in a community dedicated to the whole. The success of the many. this is the reason we all change and progress so fast. Where I train its not about "I"....its about "us"

I train....what the hell do you do?

Activation

I PR'd today. Holy shit. And they whole time I thought I was squatting my baseline.


Overhead Squat 1-1-1-1-1-1-1


35-40-45-50-55(PR)x3


Sweet. What a great surprise.


I then booked it to Crossfit South Bay where we were having our first ever"Box Jump" event. I had not eaten a thing for breakfast, and I was a bit hung over and very dehydrated. I stopped by the old Ralphs I use to shop at when I lived in the 'hood and stocked up on Paleo yummies, but noticed that it was already 10AM, so I only got to eat the banana. I circled the block for parking; when I came back onto Sepulveda I see a whole open curb... And lo behold I see Thomas on the side walk. I honk aggressively on my horn to hopefully scare the shit out of him, but he kept his cool. 


We walk up to the box and it is a huge mass of people. Forrest is explaining the team wod, which I completely miss, but find out it's a 5 person team with 5 stations:


Run 400m
Rest
Wall Ball
Pull ups
Kettle bell swings


AMRAP in 25 mins. 


You rotate stations once the runner comes back from completing the 400m. I don't have the stats of how many points we got, but it sure as hell kicked my ass. CFSB has 6# dynamax balls, which I use. I was able to hit 8 feet target with that weight- woo hoo! All the 13kg KBs were taken so I swung an 8kg. And I used a 1"red band for my pull ups. 


My teammates were myself, Sondra (strong girl!) and 3 mens from CF SB, whom all were very easy on the eyes :)


I had a great time! Everyone at CF SB was sooooo friendly and encouraging. I was dying up my second 400m run, which is up hill, and every SB member said something encouraging as they passed me. That's love, man. 


I can't wait till we do something like this again, or even host a box to come to our place.

I'd also like to mention that I'm very surprised that I performed well being that my body is wrecked from the 100m sprints yesterday. Which I'm not even going to post about because I had epic fail. Actually, it was locked up glutes, hammies and achilles all by round 5. I was screaming in pain on the floor. If you could imagine me sounding like a wounded animal having a multiple orgasm... that's how much pain I was in. 
So, I can barely walk right now. It should be interesting since I'm going out with the cougars this evening... hehehehe. 


Oh, Patrick came back to life. Yay! And I forgive him for making me worry. 

From my BFF, Valley Crossfit Blog

CROSSFIT = SHUGYO

SHUGYO: Japanese for “Polishing one’s Spirit”.   Describes the process of unifying mind, body and spirit.  It involves challenging oneself, and developing greater awareness and harmony.  Shugyo could be also understood as the process of purification through vigorous and focused physical practice.  It is breaking out of “our comfort zone” and reaching beyond our current limits, going beyond fear, anger or the need for social approval. It is challenging our own habits. The process of  “Shugyo” creates health, freedom, confidence and greater alliance with our “true self” and with the world around us. Let’s foster the attitude of exploration and openness.    

With honest and sincere effort we can grow together and help each other “polish our spirits”, allowing Aikido to transform our lives as we work on being better human beings. 

~from http://www.aikidoofmaine.com/docs/shugyo.pdf

"Matty"

Today was my first day back in the box after a 4 day whirlwind of celebrating my birthday of excess; excess food and libations.

I didn't really take into account how my recent activities would effect my stamina. Last night, G and I were talking about how much we despised wall balls and rowing, so seeing the WOD today I was irritated. I didn't dwell on it too much, and committed to making it to 10AM class. I arrive to find 7 or 8 strangers standing about staring at the ladies warming up. The 10AM class was a female showing: G, Dawn, Aims, Kara and myself. Oh, and Zeb. LOL! Hahahaha, I forgot. The strangers were the research and development team from New Balance Shoes. They flew in from Boston to sit in different gyms and workout formats. They chose PCF as their Crossfit gym to observe. Crazy, right?

The warm up was pretty intense and had me winded. Dawn and I were in the second heat. I opted for a sub on the muscle ups of 4 linked pull ups counted as one rep. You had to come off the bar after every 4 pull ups.  For every rep you do in 1 min. equated to 2 seconds off your total time.  I did 4 "reps."

Going into the next part of the WOD, I loaded up my bar to 55# (actually 53#) and found it very difficult. I remember the AMRAP ground to overhead WOD from a couple months back and found it very approachable, but today, every time I'd clean the  bar it would wind the hell out of me! Then to jerk it overhead.. it just took a lot of effort on my part. I had to dump the bar after each rep, and felt dizzy.

Onto the wall balls. What can I say? I made it a point to knock out as many as I could; sometimes it would be 12, sometimes it would be 5. It did feel good to do a long chain of wall balls in a row. The first round of rowing my felt good.

The 2nd round was horrible. I mean BAAAAD. I felt like shit. Death. During the wall balls. I felt like I was going to faint every time I took a break. I took what felt like 3 minutes to catch my breath and my bearings. I was afraid of fainting. I finished that round of walls balls completely concerned if I could even do another whole round after ROWInG! While I rowed pretty passively, I tossed around the idea of ending it, like not going into the final round.

I bit the bullet and decided to complete the WOD. Last round was tough. For ground to overhead, I cleaned the bar into a split jerk. David said my form was really good. That gave me a little energy.
Onto wall ball, I wanted to finish so bad, so I was determined to break it up in big chunks. 14-23-35-45-50. Diso was in my ear telling me not to think about the time, just relax and take big breaths. I must have looked like shit/death.

The last row was sloppy and slow. I kept my eyes closed for the whole thing. Zeb was right there with me, pushing along.

When time was called (for me) I collapsed on the floor.

 I stayed in that post work out euphoria for almost an hour. In that time, I experienced shooting pain in the back of my head, dizziness, muscle spasms and cramping of my quads. That's how much my body was pissed at my excessive drinking the past 4 days.

I'm back on the wagon. Ate a zone-balanced paleo breakfast and lunch.

It was fun while it lasted. I can't wait till my body is back in a clean state, cause I know that I don't like feeling like I'm going to faint during a WOD. That's motivation enough to eat right.

"Matty" kicked my ass.

Hyphy!

And the Lakers showed up today. Our defense was tight, our shooting percentage almost 50%, rebounding was out of sight...
We're the clinchin' the championship. For real. I've got to clear my schedule for the parade... and wear my Kevlar that day :P



I'm thinking of you Chick.
The refridgerator door is closed: the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's getting hard, and the jello's jigglin

Crossfit Games2010 Let the Games Begin

Pollo ala Brasa- Finally!!!

~Sweet Assassin says relax and have fun

Blessings

I’ve been 30 years old for, oh, about 9 hours now and the desire to nest and have a baby has really gone into over drive. It wasn’t but 24 hours ago I was singing the praises of the many forms of the opposite sex. And now, the biological drive for monogamy and procreating is pulsing through my veins. I’m tired of trying to control any of it.  With modern medicine, I could have children way into my 40s. But would I want to be in my 40s with young children?  Oy.

Today is the day of my birth, the day I took my own first breath. Well, maybe not. I was born with complications; I think I was put on a respirator. I overcame a lot to be here today, says my mother. Statistically, I should have perished. 

I’m in a lovely place in my life. I’m actually at a bend in my road, but I’m excited for what ‘s to come. I don’t know what that is quite yet, but the mystery has me intrigued. I know what I want, but I’m also open to what I don’t know what I want… yet :D

So my party was fun. That’s what the attendees say. What do I think? I don’t really have a feeling about it. I’m sad that I passed out in the middle of it. I guess the shots hit me hard. And the champagne, and the rum, and the sake.  I wish I had more of my own memories and recollections. I have been piecing my night together by what others have told me. I feel really blessed that so many of my old and new friends were able to be present. I wish Carla’s “driver” didn’t get tired and she could have stayed longer, like she has done in my birthday’s past. I felt like she wanted to stay.

I’m glad Alice and Eddie had a good time. They are soooo keen.

Marissa and Cher. They are good together.

And of course new Crossft friends. What can I say? I’m so lucky. I really am. To have found true friends this “late” life.  Not every one of them has pure hearts, but they all act with good-heartedness. I’m perplexed that Patrick didn’t show up. I figure he’s going through some healing. Or he’s back with Olivia and is ashamed to share it with me since I told him my piece of mind of how I think she’s “abusing” him. You don’t break up with someone to figure out if you want to be with him or her. Maybe when you’re like in college and there are many dating options out there. Which kind of brings me to the conclusion that maybe she had another suitor in the wings. One only acts with 2 motivators: FEAR or LOVE. And she’s obviously acting in fear. I know Patrick believes he loves her (or at least loves what he knows of her) and wants to give her her chances… but I don’t feel good about how she is hot and cold with him. It’s a cycle of abuse.

If you truly, truly care about someone, you are present and available; you don’t pull away to figure it out. I was just having this conversation with C-rose.  Both of us are traditional women, with traditional values. The men lead. If a man is interested in getting to know you, he will “rise to the top;” he will seek you out, and desire your companionship.  Once the lead is established, it is then the lady’s turn to reciprocate, if it so moves her.  The dance of courtship is a complicated one. I don’t have it figured out by any means. I have my values and I’m steadfast in them.  I know my worth. I will not settle.

Zeb and I were talking about what we’re attracted to in the opposite sex, and his response was, “I don’t get to choose. I don’t know whom I’m going to be attracted to until I meet that person.” It was simple yet insightful. And he’s right.  I’ve never chosen whom I’ve had that energy with. You just lock eyes and know.  It’s an amazing phenomenon. Those feelings in the pit of your stomach, the headiness,  that floaty feeling; all the things going around you seem to blur as your attention is locked into that one person.  Your pupils dilate, your mouth opens slightly, as you catch your breath. Those feelings, chemical and biological reactions, are so strong that sometimes you can’t look into their eyes cause it’s too much.


If they look into my eyes they will betray me and reveal all that I’m feeling.

I’m still a romantic at heart. 

Holiday! Celebrate! If we took the Holiday...

15 rounds for time:

5 Pull ups

10 Push Ups

15 Squats

I love/hate this WOD, but mostly love.  At about round 4 I could not believe I had 11 more sets to go. At that point my arms were killing me from the push ups, so I made it an effort to go as fast as possible on my pull ups and squats- and surprisingly I killed it both of those segments. All but the last round I didn't break up pull ups or squats, just did them straight with no break. The push ups were another story. I would do 3, then rest, do 3 then rest... etc. My arms pretty much failing, I knocked it down sets of 2 + rest, and then the last round I was doing 1 pushup, then resting. My last set of squats I blasted through them. Then I collapsed and felt all the heat coming off of my body. I didn't move from my spot for  awhile. 

I ended up outside, sitting in the setting sun's light. I started to feel light headed and whoozy. At this point it's been about 10 minutes since I finished the WOD. CR got me some water and I felt better. I don't think I ate enough carbs to day. I usually have 4 servings of fruit a day I only had 2 servings in one sitting. 

I think I did well. A lot of the men killed the wod with sub 20 min times. Like Zeb and Rico. That's like a 50 seconds per round, like, really? It's friggin' awesome. 

Now at home, my body is throbbing from the 4 classes I did this week. My left calf is jacked, my abs are sore, my shoulders are tight, and now my arms and pecs are screaming. Awesome.

Time to par-tay! Now I'm getting excited about tomorrow evening. I can't wait to introduce certain people to certain people. I love everyone I know and I think most will hit it off with each other. Like Suzy and Carla. Maybe Chris for Crose--hey now! 

I hope Dakota and Melsie will get off of work early so they can get down with us... and the cake, I can't wait to see it. It's a surprise cake, but I told Kota what kind of cake I like. 

I feel like a young, invigorated teenager :)

The taping of Kababayan LA was nerve racking. I was trying to get out of doing it all the way to the last second, using the excuse that I don't speak tagalog. It didn't fly. I was going to be on that stage. I was sweaty and my thoughts were going a million miles an hour in my head...  I don't want to relive it. It's over. Thank goodness. 

Dead man lifting

Deadlift 5-5-5-5-5

Cool down-

5 skin the cats

20 sit ups

115-125-135-140 PR-145(x3)PR!!!!!

Happy. Really happy. 145# was heavy. I really love heavy days. 

I pulled up the to box and saw Courtneyrose's car. Could it be? No... she works during the day. I walk into the gym and there she was. I was really happy to see her. 

CR and I were both happy to have a heavy day as we were both sore from the Mon and Tues' WODs. 

__________________________________________________________________________________

I have so much on my mind but can't settle it down enough to express it all. I need to be STILL. Breath. Relax. It will all make itself known. Everything that is happening is suppose to happen. Have faith and let go. 

Exhale.  It's going to be alright. 

Late night snack

bacon with brussel sprouts and shallots, frying together, all bacon fat bubbly.

~Sweet Assassin says relax and have fun

Stream of consciousness

I'm really sad that I didn't get to Crossfit today. You know when you're expectations are not met, and you're let down, that's how I feel. My plans for the day were to shop for a Japanese themed event with Chef John in Little Tokyo; then head to the garment district to shop for the outfit I plan to wear to my birthday party. After that I was going to do AMRAP front squats, pull ups and double unders.  But yesterday, I get a call late in the afternoon from Zeni, saying that she needed my help with the proposal she was making in front of the board of directors at Hard Rock Hotel in LV. She planned to drive into LA so we can meet to make revisions and clean up the 84 page proposal. She'd be at the office after lunch. Of course, I obliged and nixed my own endeavors.

I ended up spending a grueling 7 hours pouring over 84 pages of dribble. I edited it down to 81 pages, and checked and cross checked all the facts, and corrected all gramatical errors. I left the office close to 10PM.

So, I missed what looked like an awesome workout. Tomorrow's WOD is deadlifts, yay! Just yesterday I was telling David that I felt like we hadn't had a straight heavy deadlift day, and lo n' behold, the Universe heard my cry and gave me deadlifts. I want to set a new PR. I have record that I lifted 145#, but I don't believe it, I think it's a typo. I think my true single rep max PR is 135#. I'd be happy to do 140#.  I'm determined to go to the 10AM class, then jet back to Little Tokyo to pick all the bowls and sake cups we ordered today, then off to Dreamworks to be the Sushi chef for the day.

Friday, I'm a guest on Kababayan LA, a show on the "Asian" public access network, reppin' Azukar Organics. We film at 11AM and I'm not quite sure how long it's going to last.

So tomorrow might be my last work out of the week. I will try my best to go to Friday 6:30. Saturday I want to attend Crossfit 101, but I think I'll opt to get my hair did in the morning. My stylist, Toshiro, is out of town, I think back in Japan, so I'm not sure if I trust any of the other stylist there. We'll see.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

See, when I don't crossfit my energy levels are in the tank.

Birthday party. I'm haven't really thought about it. I'm just really excited to see people I haven't seen in a long time. Like Carla, Alice, Heather. Even Nate. We had a secret lunch last Wednesday. He pretty much told me, "Don't tell Heather I'm out with you." 9 years later and he still has to sneak around to hang out with his sister. Makes me fuckin' sick, I tell ya.

Life is good. I'm happy. I love everyone.

We're movin' on up! To the East side!

*Sidebar- In my adulthood, I have developed a very animalistic physical attraction to Bruce Lee. He is the ideal body type. Lean, cut, sinewy, not too big, but bulky in all the right places.*

Ingenius programming from Zeb on this rest day:

After the WOD yesterday that just completely demoralized me, I knew I had to bounce back today with all my heart. Not once, did I think, "I hate Wall-balls." I couldn't let poison enter my mind. Those are some high numbers; 60 wall balls to finish? 

After the warm up I loaded up my bar. I wanted to do 105, but it felt really heavy. So I backed down to 95#. Went into to the WOD feeling very competitive. I didn't have a time goal, but I knew I wanted to not bitch or moan or groan like I did yesterday. Just go hard and finish. 

I'm happy with my time, I'm happy with my pace of how I broke up the work.

4113 Redwood Avenue is Paradiso Crossfit's new home. It's providence that has brought the box to this moment. Growth was the facilitator but not the reason. The reason is something that hasn't happened yet. I truly believe that our box has a bigger purpose for existing and touching lives. As I run into the multiplying on-rampers that I don't know  by sight or name, I feel each one will contribute to the elevation of our box. I feel it. I believe it. 

(And I can't post the pictures I took. Phooey!) I guess I'll post from our grand opening WOD on July1. 

Hard work: Northwest Regional Event 4

Row 30 calories

35 pound Thruster, 30 reps

20 foot Rope climb, 3 ascents ( I did 6 rope raises/lowers from the floor)

30 Kettlebell swings, 3/4 pood

Row 20 calories

45 pound Thruster, 20 reps

20 foot Rope climb, 2 ascents(I did 6, when I was only suppose to do 4)

20 Kettlebell swings, 3/4 pood

Row 10 calories

50 pound Thruster, 10 reps

20 foot Rope climb, 1 ascent  (I did 6 when I was only suppose to do 2)

10 Kettlebell swings, 3/4 pood

I could have a 10 page bitch rant about how fuckin' horrible this was on me. But I'll just post my mediocre time and you have to trust me when I say that it was wretched. Hot, burning, bubbly gut... spinning head, gassed lungs... You name, I felt it. 

My time- 28:55.

I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I finished (cause I wanted to tap out sooooo many times) 

I'm just planned pooped. 

I ate a shit meal today. I really think it contributed to the feelings I felt during the wod. I had filipino food. OUr food is bad. I really need to reign in my eating. Like really. Fuck I'm weak. And it's my birthday month. Excuses. I hate when I don't do well in the WODs.  

Well, tomorrow is a new day. 

Just like my Nanay's

The taro puree at Royal T Cafe tastes just like my Nanay's ube. It's sooooo good and comforting.

~Sweet Assassin says relax and have fun

Return of the Assassin

After 11 days of being away from the box, I was eagerly excited to get back into it. I saw the workout on the Nat'l site last night and already loved it. Pull ups and OH squats are 2 areas that I could always work on for improvement.

Arrived 2 minutes late to the 10AM class, and found that the very full On-ramp class was running long. All the rowers were occupied so I went for a run to warm up. I made sure to really warm up my shoulders as one of my concerns is range of motion and flexibility. I've only injured myself twice in 7 months and both times where my shoulder.

Since I had been cooking this week, which means long hours standing in one place, I had already made a mental note while in the kitchen that I knew I would have a tight back coming back into the box. I rolled on the foam roller to loosen up the tightness. I warmed up my OH Squats with a light bar. I wanted to to feel that money spot where the bar is perfectly above the center line of my body. I felt it and put more weight on to 35#s. My 1 rep max PR is 50#s, and WODs that were high reps, I would do 20#s-30#s. So combining the facts that  I had taken 11 days off and my back was acting like a bitch, I stuck with 35# for the workout, knowing that at this lighter weight I better be perfect with my form- getting deep and seated at the bottom and keeping active shoulders with arms locked out over the center of my body.

Right before Diso calls "3-2-1-GO!" I think, Fuck this is going to Suck! This is how I broke up the first set of 21: 11, break. 6, break. 4. I made a mental note that dumping the bar and having to clean it, push press it overhead took a lot of energy out of me... I had to change it up for the next set.

Going to the bar, I had the thicker blue band set up. Diso wanted use to go thicker if neccessary to satisfy the Chest to Bar requirement. I knew I wouldn't be able to do C2B with the thin red. I don't remember the set of 21 C2B pull ups. I guess I was in the zone.

Back to OH Squats. Knowing that getting the bar overhead used a lot of energy I did my best to go for as long as I could. I only dumped the bar once in the set of 15. Did 8 squats, dumped, then knocked out the last 7.

For the last set of 9 OH Squats, I did them straight- not stopping once. I really felt that at this point my hips were nice and warm and I can feel myself get really seated at the bottom. It felt good.

And my time:

I'm happy. I did some good work for a girl who's been out of commission for a bit. Afterwards I collapsed and went to into that lovely workout stupor that I'm addicted to :D

I'm a cold hearted snake, look into my eyes

I just hung up the phone. It was Charles. I answered the call with concern, "Is everything alright?"
He said no, and started to fall apart into sobs. I became worried. He hates it there. I let him cry. I felt a lump in my throat build, but not for what you think... I was stifling a laugh. As I felt the chuckle bubble up from my diaphragm, I thought, "I'm going to hell." It is soooo unlike me to react with such mercilessness. I'd like to think I have a vast capacity for empathy and compassion. My reaction was organic and real, and I couldn't predict that that was how I was going to react. Charles never heard me laugh. I said only soothing words. He hung up comforted, I believe. And that, is loving kindness.

Oh funny story: I spent the day cooking at Dreamworks. There are 2 student interns doing their mandatory internship to complete their culinary program. One of them being "Tom," whom I later find out is the Vice President of Dreamworks' life partner. Sizing him up, "Tom" seems competent; fast learner, takes direction well, and has a keen palate for seasoning. The team of us, execute a formal luncheon for 40ppl of tomato/mozz stack salad, surf and turf, and berry shortbread trifle.

The vegetarian option was manicotti. Chef John is Italian from Sicily and his renditions of italian classics are DA BOMB-seriously! So when service was over, I could not wait to dig into the left over manicotti. I take one huge bite of the firm crepe and was hit with an overwhelming tanginess and strong soapy flavor. I immediately turned to John, and asked "Why does this taste hispanic?"

John tries a bite. His eyes go big and his forward crinkles, "Tom, did you use salsa on the manicotti thinking it was marinara?" The whole kitchen just busts up laughing. We served this shit to 3 vegetarians in room of studio executives.

Ahhhhh, I guess you had to be there.

(Ugh, Charles just called, again, to say good night. I'm Fucked.  I should just stop answering his phone calls. I'm not sure if I have that level of indifference in me....)

Event number 2, was later in the day and it was just  hors d'oeuvres. On the menu was sliders and John let me pick the slider o' da day. So I picked Avocado, Bacon and Chipotle Mayo on Kobe Beef and Hawaiian Rolls. They were deliciousness. Let me show you:

My stress has been lifted. I can once again focus on the simple things that bring me joy, like Crossfit. I can't wait to get back to the box tomorrow. The workout looks awesome. More practice working on my pull ups. I know I made a goal of doing an unassisted pull up by my birthday which is in less than 10 days; I may have to extend my deadline. That will be an awesome day. 

I ate pretty clean today: turkey breast, quinoa salad, apple, more turkey, kale and beet salad, cherries... and a bahn mi sandwich- ya, not so clean. The bahn mi was sooooooo delicious and yummy. 

It's going to be a glorious weekend. Sunday, I'll get to "confront" my former employer and go toe to toe with them at the Taste of the Nation event. Ok, so we're not going toe to toe, but I'm trying to channel peace and harmony when having to see my saboteurs on Sunday. There is still a bite to the thought of my unjustified firing. I would say 80% of me is healed; that part is really happy I no longer work for that company, so I'm trying to bring those thoughts to the surface. I should keep focus on why I am present at the event, which is to promote my products within the foodservice industry. I am in the midst of setting up a credit account with them to distribute my products, so everything will be rectified. 

Off to dream land...

"Would you want to marry a wicked man?"

"Well, I wouldn't marry anyone who was really wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and wouldn't."  

Observations from February 2009

Things that are no longer acceptable:

-Hanging out at a corporate coffee chain until midnight.
-Low waisted jeans/butt crack
-Facial piercings
-Side burns
-Bald pussies
-Detox's

It's all coming back to me now

It came true. What I put out in the universe almost a decade earlier: I finally had a savory seat mate on the plane. A man about my age, well dressed, of pleasing countenance, and fine manner-- Australian accent to boot! For once, it wasn't a morbidly obese, aged person with tuberculous lungs, and an overactive bladder. Or the other quality specimen embodied by a 6 year old boy with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,  and Tourette''s syndrome, his favorite word being anal... It was quite refreshing really; the plane ride felt very sophisticated and adult. I'm sure it will never happen again.

Shit I lost in my recent travels: my favorite hat, 1 diamond solitaire earring (I think I'm going to reset the diamond of the present earring into a pendant), 1 sterling silver hoop earring.  I know it's just stuff. And stuff is, well, stuff, but my hat, I loved.

A moment of silence for my hat. 

Charles has left LA.  I've written so much about him and us in the past, that I've actually have run out of words. And that's ok. 

Tara got married. To Thomas Carter. She is now "Terra Cotta." The wedding was so Tara. It was perfect. 

Dominique Dona Mazzara is simply exquisite. Every part of her tiny little body was crafted by God. I am grateful that I got to experience her at this age of 1 month. 

New York was doing her best to not let me leave her (again and again, and over and over...). I drove from Boston to Shirley, NY, about 275 miles without incident. On the morning of my flight to LA, about 100 yards from the JFK exit, a car pulls in front of me and abruptly stop. I don't. Stop. You get it. No one was hurt, I made my flight. But I can't help but think of all the other times I tried to leave NY and she fiercely tried to deny me exit. Or maybe it's just Southern State Pkwy/Belt Parkway.

The Universe has surprised me again. I think my detractors got their karma, and I, in turn, have been rewarded mine. I am grateful and humble. I think I need to stop doubting that I'm the power of my Universe. 

I really want to do 75 power snatches tomorrow. I'll be working well into the evening and it's game one of the Championship series between Lake-show and old rivals the Celtics. The Lakers win out over snatching. Lakers just win. There, I've set it free into the world.. and I'm sure it will come back to me, just like all the other intentions I've put out in the Universe. 

"Let's Go Lakers!" 

Back on the wagon

~Sweet Assassin says relax and have fun